Jamie

My little brother Jamie died when I was 13. My family and I were on  holiday in Tenerife and he fell suddenly down a stairwell. He incurred serious brain damage and died multiple times in the ambulance and finally died in hospital. 

When Jamie died I learnt that life can completely change in a matter of seconds.

Have you ever had that feeling?

When your life suddenly transforms without any notice or warning?

I learnt what it felt like to lose someone and to feel intense pain, regret, and grief. 

I learnt how important it is to cherish what we have while we have it and that each and every person in our lives are gifts. 

Losing Jamie made me braver & more mature.

It made me appreciative of the small things.

The tragic and unexpected death of a child could be seen as the worst possible happening imaginable but I am so thankful to say that slowly but surely, I am able to gather the many lessons nestled within the experience. 

Papa G

My Dad died from terminal brain cancer when I was 21. He had been diagnosed 3 years earlier. Towards the end of my University degree I moved home and cared for him for 7 months pretty much around the clock.
He passed away in our living room whilst I slept on the floor next to him. 
The loss of my Dad left me with A LOT of questions.

What is the point of this life?

Why are we all here?

How can I make my time here meaningful?

A couple of months later I began to suffer with overwhelming anxiety following my first panic attack. 

As I lay on my back on the bedroom floor I was consumed by fear and panic. 
I almost can't believe I was able to get myself out of bed and to work each morning despite experiencing such intense negative thought cycles.  
Can you think of a time in your life where you have managed to carry on even though it felt utterly impossible?

Since that night I have made it a personal commitment to understand how the mind works and everyday since I become more aware of how mentally strong and determined I really am and how important it is to look after your body and mind. 

It was that crippling fear that guided me to find Yoga.

I will never lose the deep appreciation for the the stillness of Savasana and the simultaneous stillness of my thoughts.

I have realised that power over the mind is literally the difference between living in heaven or hell.

The death of a parent can feel like the whole world is ending, but it isn't when you are able to work with your mind. I would describe losing my Dad as the best thing that ever happened to me. It led me to make peace with my fear of Death and in doing so helped me to embrace my life, fully. I feel much more connected, inspired, and determined to make an impact as a direct result of this loss.

Relationships

My 8 year relationship ended when I was 24. I had travelled to India to teach Yoga and in the process fell in love.
I ended my relationship and found myself immediately in another.
My life had completely flipped upside down. 
This was a huge transition for me as it forced me to question my whole identity.
For so long I had defined myself based on a role and a relationship which were suddenly no longer a part of my life or future.

Who we think we are isn’t who we actually are.

I am somebody who takes leaps of faith and is willing to take risks in order to live my life to its fullest potential.

I am also somebody who has a lot to learn when it comes to being kind and truthful at the same time. 

Letting go of some control has helped me to be more comfortable with not having all of the answers. 

I don't know what tomorrow will bring and I am okay with that. 

For now, I am learning so much as I navigate the beauty and challenge of being in a relationship.

Finding effective ways to communicate, understanding attachments, and releasing expectations are all part of the journey. 

Most recently I have found myself in yet again, another relationship.
The most important one of all.

The one with myself.

Since this relationship has had time to grow and flourish I am able to take responsibility for my emotions, observe my behaviour patterns, and stay connected to my heart. The ending of a relationship can feel like the death of a part of you. I guess in one way it is, but what that death creates space for is a deep and grounding connection to yourself. 

Do you feel that you honour your connection to Self?