Where does Self-Doubt Come From?
Self-Doubt is the Route of all Evil.
The word route in the opening quote of this post isn't there by accident, it isn't a typo.
Self-doubt is the path for confusion energy to enter your space and interrupt your good vibes and flow state.
A few months ago, I had a colour reading for the first time. I was in Spain spending some time with a friend and living in a tipi on her land. One day, her Mum suggested we go for a colour reading as it was something she did once every 3 months so it was time.
Off we went. 3 of us girls sat around a table and were given a sheet of paper with different coloured shapes on and told to pick the first 3 that stood out to us. "This is too simple" I thought, there is no way this is going to be able to tell me anything about my life. Even for me it felt a bit too airy fairy and 'out there'.
Of course, I was completely wrong.
The lady who was facilitating the session looked me straight in the eyes as she begin to describe the purple shape that I had chosen, "you've got a decision to make" she said.
My heart sank to the ground. I instantly knew what she was talking about.
My partner and I were going through a really challenging patch in our relationship at the time and I was riddled with anxiety about it. I felt insecure, doubtful and drained of energy. I was under attack from my own mind which was jumping from one idea to the next, I needed to do something, change something, end the relationship, don't end the relationship- aahhhh it was so exhausting.
We left the session and as we drove home in the car I felt fear rippling through my body.
It felt as though she had confirmed what I feared the most. I went over and over what she had said in my head feeling an anxious pressure building in my chest as I did so.
I had to make a decision, now.
The colours had said it, the universe was telling me I needed to make a decision.
The universe.
That thought stopped me in my tracks.
The universe was telling me I needed to make a decision. Perhaps I had misunderstood which decision that was. As this thought settled in I felt instant relief wash over me.
As I began to talk it through with my friend's Mum I felt wave after wave of clarity and realisation.
The decision I needed to make wasn't about my relationship at all; at least not the relationship with my partner.
The decision I needed to make was about my relationship with the Universe; with Spirit.
The self-doubt that we experience on a day-to-day level through negative self talk or the lack of trust we feel in our relationships; that self-doubt is just a small reflection of the true root.
Our self-doubt is a direct result of our lack of trust in the universe.
Are you willing to fully trust the mysterious unfolding of life without trying to cling to or control it?
Are you prepared to start trusting your ideas, choices, and actions?
Are you willing to totally accept divine timing?
Over the following days, weeks, and months that colour reading turned out to be the most accurate life reflection I could have asked for. I began to understand the roots of my resistance. When you are able to access and understand your core beliefs directly, it filters through every other aspect of your life.
The moment I began to prioritise a connection to Spirit and trust the unfolding of life as it is was the moment my fears began to dissolve and my life changed forever. My relationship with myself and with my partner has taken a truly quantum leap and I have never felt happier or healthier in body, mind and spirit.
I hope this post finds you well and encourages you to start asking the bigger questions.
What is at the root of your resistance?
The moment you start finding the answers to that question is the moment you set yourself free.
So much love, genuinely,
Ciara Nicole X
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